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The songs of today are:

The last two songs I included because "Drip Dry Eyes" started playing after "Grand Espoir" and the beginning of the song reminded me of the "Check Mii Out" channel on the Wii. I wonder how many other people remember using it on their Wii? It was a channel you had to go to the Wii Shop Channel to download, and in it you could submit Miis you had created to different competitions based on a prompt; an archive of the contests that were held can be found here. I think the idea of a "New Year's Baby" Mii is funny.

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Last night I accidentally let the song "United Tee" by Shuta Hasunuma play on repeat probably 50 times while I searched the living room for the lost TV remote. I think the song is really good but it started to make me feel somewhat uneasy after a few repeats while walking around in circles and pulling out couch cusions because the song is probably 50 or so seconds long. I had started to play it when I realized the remote was missing, and I knew I could have stopped it but to pause my remote search to go to my phone on the other side of the room to pause the song and then resume it somehow felt like it would make the whole thing pointless. And so because of that I did allow it to play many times, until finding out that Grace had accidentally carried the remote from the couch into their bedroom the night before while half-asleep.

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On January 28th, 2023, K asked me to:
"describe how it feels to be barefoot in the grass"

The first words I would think of to describe that feeling would be "cold" and "wet," but in a pleasant way. This is a great question for a day like today which has also been especially "cold" and "wet." Another word I would use to describe today's weather is "dreary," however this is not a word I would use to describe the feeling of being barefoot in the grass.

There's nothing wrong with getting wet, I sometimes like to be wet. But whenever it rains agaisnt my will it makes me feel an acute sense of powerlessness. Some time during the spring semester of 2022 I had gotten myself into a situation where I had no choice but to walk home from the Pollak Building (17 minutes) with no umbrella through agressive rainfall. I had been wearing my glasses (bought in eighth grade, Buddy Holly-style frames) instead of contacts due to procrastinating or putting off calling the eye doctor for a checkup so I could order more contacts. As I marched on home at a much faster pace than usual I began to wipe away water from the lenses of my glasses because there was so much water everywhere, in all directions, that I really could barely even see. Then, the lens suddenly fell out of the frames and directly into a trough of cloudy, dubious rainwater nestled along the sidewalk which promptly swept the lens away into the unknown of opaque liquid and storm drain systems under the ground.

This is one moment in my life which I can say made me feel a specific type of embarassment that feels almost comical; what made it worse was that I stuck my hand into the trough thinking I could catch it but instead I just looked like a fool crouched down on a busy street corner with broken glasses, drenched in water and grumbling incoherently to myself. I can only describe this type of situation as a "sad clown moment," when your humiliation is so laughable and cliche that it becomes exponentially embarassing and you feel like you need to run off with your head in your hands like you just had a pie thrown in your face. It's funny I mention clowns because I have never felt more like the Joker than the last ten minutes of my walk home after that.

Upon arriving home I took my anger out on the door and walked right up to the top of the stairs outside my bedroom. I immediately stripped naked in front of the window, took every individual item out of my bag until I could turn it inside out, and stood there silently for fifteen minutes before replacing the contents of my bag and returning to reality. I did go back to my room and change into comfortable clothes after that, but I left all of my wet clothing spread across the stairway until the next day. I think I had to let those clothes release whatever evil energy they absorbed before I could bring myself to gather them and put them in the laundry.

My aunt asked me over Christmas to design a logo for my uncle's trucking company. I could tell she had no intention of paying me for it so I didn't bother asking. In the first week of January I told her I could have it done by the end of the month. I emailed it to her today, but it doesn't seem like she is very appreciative of it.